A man and his wife were walking along the beach one day when he came across a bottle. Lo and behold it was a bottle with a genie in it.
The man then rubs the bottle and out pops the genie.
"Because you have released me, I am granting you three wishes. However, for each wish, I will give your wife twice the amount of that wish."
The man agrees to the condition and says, "For my first wish, I would like a 10,000-square foot house."
*POOF* The man gets a brand-new castle-like house of 10,000 square feet.
*POOF* His wife gets a brand new 20,000-square foot house.
The man continues, "For my second wish, I would like $100,000,000."
*POOF* A vault containing $100,000,000 in cash appears before him.
*POOF* A vault containing $200,000,000 in cash appears before his wife.
He appears happy, yet a little bit irritated. He ponders his next wish for several minutes before finally quipping:
"For my third wish, beat me half to death!"
LOL good one cps. Here is one for you.
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket when he notices that the extremely attractive blonde behind him has raised her hand in greeting and smiled at him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be interested in him, and although she looked familiar he can't place where he might know her from so he says: "Sorry do you know me".
She replied "I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children".
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he had been unfaithful. "Christ!" he says "are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table, in front of all my mates, whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my arse?"
"NO" she replies "I'm your son's english teacher".
LMAO @ Cps & Lohnro.
Good ones Guys.
Lanky