VLS Roulette Forum

Humor => Humor: Jokes, Funny Quotes & Stories, and more... => Topic started by: atlantis on May 15, 2009, 07:49:03 AM

Title: C.E.H. at the gates of heaven/hell
Post by: atlantis on May 15, 2009, 07:49:03 AM
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and a famous roulette player by the name of Charles Edward Hampshire, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knew what had happened, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated roulette formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.

Charles Edward Hampshire then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. Mr. Hampshire then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."

"Wrong," said Charles, "It's from my arsehole."

And so it came to pass that Charles was permitted to enter Heaven.

:) Atlantis
Title: Re: C.E.H. at the gates of heaven/hell
Post by: bombus on May 15, 2009, 08:34:17 AM

Bwahahaha!

I like Charles even more now....SCARY!
Title: Re: C.E.H. at the gates of heaven/hell
Post by: Natural9 on May 17, 2009, 07:21:14 PM
Quote from: atlantis on May 15, 2009, 07:49:03 AM
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and a famous roulette player by the name of Charles Edward Hampshire, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knew what had happened, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings." With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated roulette formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared, too.

Charles Edward Hampshire then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!" The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. Mr. Hampshire then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the right."

"Wrong," said Charles, "It's from my arsehole."

And so it came to pass that Charles was permitted to enter Heaven.

:) Atlantis


Too much  :clapping: :dance1: ;D :diablo: